Hello to all our ZachNews fans. ZachNews is announcing some important changes being made starting today to help better serve the people of this wonderful community well also help address issues some people have with ZachNews. The following are the changes being put into effect today:
1: All videos posted to ZachNews are being removed.
2: Pictures posted to ZachNews will be locked, and will have to have a password to view.
3: Reports done by ZachNews will all be coded so you to figure out what we’re reporting for yourself.
4: Interviews done by ZachNews will be blurred out to protect their identities.
5: Live broadcasts will no longer happen live on Facebook or YouTube.
6: Fast police pursuit reported on ZachNews will be slowed down so you can catch with them.
7: Only ZachNews fans with first names beginning with A-L will be able to view ZachNews on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays.
8: Only ZachNews fans with first names beginning with M-Z will be able to view ZachNews on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.
9: Location of ZachNews will be removed from all contact pages because we can’t give you an exact location of our underground bunker.
10: S’torm Watch coverage on ZachNews will change to Mud Watch; giving you the latest in mud related news, weather and sports as well as beauty tips and do it yourself projects related to mud.
11: Due to health reasons, Zachary Lopez is no longer be in charge of ZachNews, and auditions for “So You Think You Can Report Real News” will be announced next week.
12: As part of the important changes being made to ZachNews, fans will now be able to watch all past meetings and events post on ZachNews in 3D.
13: You all have a Happy A-P-R-I-L F-O-O-L-S’ D-A-Y!!